With that said, your best chance for finding love is probably at the bar or on a friend’s couch. So whether you’re socializing with a group of people, or going it solo, we’ve got you covered in this guide to finding someone to love. And don’t worry: we have some tips to help you be witty and charming.
1. Stop using the “Sorry” Text to Avoid Talking to People.
Whether you text out of politeness or out of shyness, this one is simple: Just stop. You don’t want to apologize to every single person you meet for the 6 millionth time this week. Keep your conversations brief and to the point, and use your phone for its intended purpose. It’s ok to say “hi” or “good to meet you,” and “I’m excited to meet you next time” or “I have a friend who likes you a lot and will get you the next time.”
2. Communicate the Way You Like to Be Communicated With.
You have to use your own style of communication. People have different preferences for how they like to be communicated with. Do you enjoy face-to-face conversations, or do you like texting because it’s easier to remain vague? Or maybe you hate to text. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and tell people what you like and don’t like. Don’t be afraid of revealing how you may need a little extra encouragement or a pat on the back.
3. Lightly Apologize for the Snarky Comments You Make
We all need to be honest with ourselves about how we treat people. Even when we’re being sarcastic or mean, it’s important to own up to it, especially if you are being snarky toward your own future spouse. You don’t have to be so forgiving of yourself, but you do want to be aware of your actions, and how they affect others. And you don’t have to apologize all the time. You’ll learn more than you ever wanted to know about them and yourself in the process of dating, but a few sincere apologies in the beginning are in good faith. If they don’t take them lightly, they might end up offering more than they’re willing to give. It’s a fool’s game to be so hard on yourself to start off.
4. Own Your Big Mistakes.
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Photo by Nimi Jagtap.
First: Do You Like the Person’s Picture?
If the first step is making yourself comfortable around someone new, chances are, you’ll want to know a few things before you start dating. If this person doesn’t interest you, you want to make sure you’re head over heels for someone who will. It’s simple: You want to like them on a basic level. What does that even mean?
It means that when you can see them walking down the street without getting butterflies in your stomach, you’re going to know in a heartbeat whether you’d have fun together. Also, you want to want to know them. No need to be a matchmaker or an expert on dating, but you want to know if your potential date is socially aware, if they are funny, and if they come from a place of integrity. Some of the most attractive people in the world are simultaneously unlikable.
If you share a passion for a cause or hobby, or if you share a connection on Twitter or on one of the many social networking sites, do a little digging. The more you can get to know someone before you ask them out, the better off you’ll be. If you’re not into online dating sites or apps (and the list of hookup websites and apps reads like a who’s who of your Facebook friends), go to see someone in person. Never accept a match on blind dates; you owe it to yourself to see people you might want to date for at least a little bit, even if it’s just for coffee. Or if you’re looking for a more long-term relationship, stick to the personals. But don’t have sex until you at least like them on a dating site, or in person.
Still, with this step out of the way, you can make yourself a little less nervous about approaching the other person. If you’re looking for a relationship, set your standards.
Photo by Kristen Nigro.
Second: Can You Be Your Authentic Self?
If you’re the type of person who takes criticism to heart or who easily gets worked up, you need to work on this. Because you don’t want to be the type of person who says things just to make someone else feel bad. You need to be real. You don’t need to do this for a man, and you don’t need to take it off for a woman. You just have to know what you’re doing